|Written by Kenneth McClenton|
|Wednesday, 31 August 2011 00:00|
The most powerful man in the free world just made the Republican Grand Ol' Party Debate scheduled for Wednesday, September 7, 2011 disappear. Politico and NBC News sponsored the debate scheduled for the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library at 8 PM. For this enchanting evening, eight challengers for the prized GOP Presidential Belt planned to enter the ring. The Breakfast of Champions assemblage included heavyweights Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry and Mitt Romney, middleweights Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum, lightweight Ron Paul and waterboy, Jon Huntsman. Yet, all of them sustained a Technical Knock Out (TKO) when President Barack Obama asked congressional leaders, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.), to forgo watching AMERICA'S GOT TALENT-WEDNESDAY and convene a joint session, at which he will deliver a major economic speech. Hocus-Pocus! O Snap, Mr. Prez has a new plan that will stir the economy faster than Anthony Bourdain can teach Paula Deen to cook. (By the way, Tony, as a southern conservative, I don't have to travel the world to recognize great food! Give me a Paula Deen anything and not only will I be full, I will be satisfied. Paula, if you are reading, I'll be the big man with the knife and fork in hands at your Southern Cooking Bible Book Signing at the Wegmans in Fredericksburg, VA on the 13th of October. Please don't tell my wife!)
MEAL: Hey, if you are hungry then, you need go no farther. I was good enough for Sunday. I will be good enough
for you today.
YOU: But, you don't smell like you did Sunday. Will eating you today solve my hunger or create more problems?
MEAL: I am glad that you asked me that question. Listen, let me be clear. I was want you wanted me to be on
Sunday. I assure you that I will be what you need of me today. That smell is the fragrance of maturation.
I have grown since last you bit into me. I have watched the decay of food around me and I know what I
can do to fix that problem. It will be a more effective strategy that whatever you have planned.
YOU: Let me ask that another way. Are you new? Are you fresh?
MEAL: I am glad that you asked me that. I've spoken with the Chinese food and they are willing to lend us their
rice because they have faith in my ability to turn your taste buds around. Let me be clear, I have spent
a great deal of time discussing with the pickle and lettuce how to move forward in pleasing you. Now, the
meat in the freezer has demanded that you throw us out and start anew with it. But that's the type of
uncivil discord that takes us away from solving this problem of freshness. Of newness. While I won't be
as audacious as the Olives that have spoken out against the Meat Party, I believe that we can
compromise. I can offer a bi-partisan approach of my ideas that you will accept. My plans are as fresh
today as they were Sunday!
Doesn't that make you feel just peachy all over. I just know after weeks of golf and fine-dining on Martha's Vineyard that we will have strident ideas that will bring the "hang 'em from a tree" Tea Party that Congressman Andre Carson knows and loves and the wine tasting, noble cause fanatics that obsess over the government's poverty like Nancy Pelosi. Let's see what the always secret yet transparent Obama Administration has leaked to the polling press.
“As I have traveled across our country this summer and spoken with our fellow Americans, I have heard a
consistent message: Washington needs to put aside politics and start making decisions based on what is
best for our country and not what is best for each of our parties in order to grow the economy and create
jobs,” the president said. “We must answer this call.”